Inward, outward, leftward, rightward.

Hello everyone, It is Monday evening and I am skyping with my buddy Griff I type this. I am drinking a coke as well. That is all.

The Question is: Is Introversion just pure shyness and is Extroversion really completely extroverted?

I have had the topic of Introversion/Extroversion on my mind for a while it's just that I have been going full retard for the last 2 weeks. I finally thought about it today when my friend Griff linked me a video on Introversion and Extroversion. So I have great hope for this blog post.

For myself I am an INFJ or an Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Judging. ( I took a little personality quiz thing that had a article about the INFJ's in it afterwards. if you don't think that your result was correct, take it again but change some answers you were unsure about. I got ENFJ at first, but didn't feel like it was me. I took it again and got INFJ and read this document like it was myself. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp )

I'm going to start with Introversion because thats the way I am and it would be easiest. Deal with it. Introversion actually socially can appear very extroverted and outgoing. It's hard to find the difference. Introverts do value alone time and time to think about things and basically develop themselves. Extroverts can be confused on who they are and what they want, seeing that they are much more selfless. Introverts are often oppressed seeing how in today's society being extroverted is the only acceptable way of being on society. Introverted people tend to be told to "get out of their head" or "Come out of their shell" and join a group of people though they might just want to be alone. Shyness and Introversion are often times confused to be the same thing. Shyness is the fear of social acceptability, so shyness would pull a person away from social interactions. Introversion is really just the enjoyment of spending time alone, but not alone all the time seeing as the Introvert can seem like an Extrovert. Introverts are also often called deep thinkers partly being the main reason introverts seem to be quiet or "shy." Introverts are often times shy, but this creates a thought that there is something wrong with them, though they are just simply introverted. Introverts also have themselves figured out and in my case, want to learn more and more about everyone else, and myself. Introverts find it easier to show themselves through writing.

Extroversion is basically the opposite of all things about Introversion. Extroverts are very selfless and find it comfortable to be in the stage lights, and feel uncomfortable when alone. Extroverts look outward on things and don't really know about themselves. Extroverts are the majority of people. Extroverts are 2/3 of people. Introverts do pretend to be Extroverts to become socially acceptable. The Extrovertial idea is the idea that the ideal person is outgoing and is comfortable in the spotlight. Extroversion is very appealing but it often times used to oppress. With this Introversion is now Second Class because they appear to be shy and quiet. There is a natural bias against shyness or introversion. Introverts work much slower than Extroverts so Introverts are often times called "slow" or "stupid." Extroverts style of work is quick, make quick, or rash decisions, and feel comfortable multi tasking.

I find the two to be very similar in an actual persons personality because you don't meet a new person having the thought in your head that they are either introverted or extroverted, and it probably never will come up into your head. As you grow on a person you could probably tell what they are after you get close enough to them but otherwise there's really no way to tell. Telling someone they're introverted isn't a bad thing but back to "The Extrovertial Idea" that favor extroversion over introversion, so it could be taken as offense. I would like to see both Extroverts and Introverts develop in a way of their own not in a way to morph into one but a way to create diversity in both.

This has been an half assed blog post but it gets a good topic down. Time to get derp around on the internet. See you guys later. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar1kEN_ZPNM&feature=g-logo heres a link to a video that reminded me that i could blog about this) -Nate

How cute Josh and Johannah are C:

Hello everyone I'm at my buddy Josh's house right now and we were at subway then Josh got a surprise call saying Kendall was over. Then it was a surprise for Kendall seeing I was with Josh. I asked for blog topics and Kendall said how annoying they were so i put the opposite of it to be funny C: or this could be a serious blog. Let's find out.

The Question is: Does everyone deserve love no matter what?

Well there are several different viewpoints on this. Say put Hilter and whatever you favorite musician is. Most (yes most) would say that Hilter doesn't deserve love and that musician deserves plenty. Well, from my perspective Hilter does deserve love. Needs to know the other side of the world besides his hate. I don't hate him, I am disappointed in what he did. He could've been a great leader if he didn't start with the holocaust. Nobody bothers to look at what he could've done.

Another thing is if we all get over being violent with each other showing some actual maturity in this race. I may be a little bias with this blog but it's just something I have noticed with humans.

You've probably heard the term "Be the bigger man" basically saying stand down and prevent a fight. You've also probably been told that fighting is an immature thing. Then why are there wars and all? People just love to fight, like to bicker, like to be angry. Why do countries constantly fight? Money, power, land, religion, etc... But couldn't they simply work out a deal of some sort? It's all very confusing to me. Also (yes I'm going to bring atheists up again) the very common question from atheists is "Well if there's a God then why are there so many terrible things in the world?" Well, even God said that the world was ours to create things on and work with. God does have control over it, but he wants to see us mature. We're all still children. He's not going to shove maturity into us in order to make this a perfect world that it can be. Humans are diving into science in a not as necessary field. What about the development of Human kind? They act as if it stopped just because we're in the present.

So here I am. Going on about something when the original topic was about Josh and Kendall. I am Genius.

Leave your comments about your thoughts and anything else you want to post. This is just some thigns I have noticed. Derkeder -Nate

Birthday Blog C:

Hello everyone this is the 19th and here is a blog for the day of my birth. I won't talk about anything this time, but More of tell you guys some actual things about myself and whats been happening in the world of Nate.

Well I now Attend Ypsilanti High School and its not as bad as people will put it out to be, and they're trying their best to get thigns going again. Only people who want the best and only the best critisize it because it's not "good enough." This is my Sophomore year and things have been going pretty swell. My grades are good, I have some friends there that I've met before and I even got some new ones C:  I met this wonderful girl Josie in the time and we got closer and closer and yesturday we started to date! :D I absolutly love her! She's just wonderful, especially her morals and how she deals with things, I told her I'd quote her, which I will, but on a blog where it can be used and not just to show off. :P So really, Life has been really really great recently.

Music wise I haven't been doing much of the producing and all, but I've been getting Into Imogen Heap. I absolutly LOVE Imogen Heap! and here's the answer to the relevance to "Hide and Seek, Telemiscommunications, First Train Home" because those are all Imogen Heap songs. Im actually listening to First Train Home right now. C: Terrorcore is something I've been getting into as well, I do enjoy it but the moods are completely different so I've been sticking to Imogen Heap instead of Noisekick. (the terrorcore artist I listen to) I actually got a $50 iTunes gift card from my grandparents so I bought "Speak for Yourself" and "Ellipse" by Imogen Heap, The two singles "Devil's Night" and "If It's Dead, We'll Kill It" by Motionless In White, Fire and Ice by Kaskade as well as the track Everything by Kaskade. I still have $16 left but I need to keep 10 of it for when the new album "Infamous" comes out by Motionless In White. So It's all pretty exciting for new music!

What am I going to do for my birthday? Well in two hours or so I will be hanging out with my friends Kalvin and Nick D. (I put the D so some of my friends don't get confused) Then Later we will head over to my friend Josh's to hang out and get the fire pit going (If the Weather decides to be my friend and not rain or be cold and all) Later I go with my dad and Maybe to my grandfathers house to do all of the present stuff and if not then It's going to be tomarrow. I hope I get nice things C:

So Here's the just of my life and all. I will add more if I think of more. So I guess this is my "Bio of Myself 2" yet another sequel blog. derkeder. I will see you guys later C: -Nate

Hell. And It's powerful effect. For The Second Time...

Hello everyone haplor 18th blog post. I just hung out with some friends of mine earlier and my friend Kalvin is spending the night. He read some of my blogs we talked about some things about them then I found some influence on this very old blog of mine. I finish the rest at my grandfathers house where i celebrate my sisters birthday.

The Question is: After all this time, why the dreams again?

They havent been the same dreams, but another pair of dreams one involving hell, and one involving Satan. It was like that for the first one of these posts. Here's what happened in the dreams, and a short summary of what I thought about it afterwards.

In the first dream, I was at my house, just kind of hanging out then all of a sudden. A dark black figure appears, the figure had horns and wings and was very intimidating. I was startled at the sight and made the immediate connection of the devil. Not just a demon or some kind of dark entity, but Satan himself. I stood up and he started to approach. I started to move the other way getting a little worried about what was going to happen. He follows me out of my family room up stairs in which I start to run up to. I make it into my room, jump on my brothers bed, and turn around. I find my sister is on the bed but Satan at the door. Me and my sister were... forced to do some... certain things that I'm pretty sure you get the idea. I figure if I go to sleep then I'll wake up in the morning. I do exactly that (in my dream. Yes i go to sleep and wake up the next morning in a dream.) Afterwards I wake up gasping for air. Incredibly relieved.

This dream was either a movie played in my head as a message from God to show my standing emotionally against Satan, or it was just torment for lols against me. I have the feeling it was the second option, to try to distract me to the path of God and Peace and basically all of non sin and hate. The reason I am writing this is so its not forgotten, and set an example of what I could easily get past. Time for the Second Dream.

In my other dream I started falling from smoke into a whole glowing of orange and red. It was incredibly loud with the sound of what it seemed like cries.  I realized what I was falling into. I was falling straight into hell. I enter this whole still falling inhumanly fast. There was spikes that were pointed up as I spot many bodies of the spikes.I miss all of the spikes luckily but I plant face first onto the ground. I grunt and stand up to my feet. I walk past all of the beige colored rock material. I find an cliff. I stand up only to gaze among hell. I started to cry and I dropped to my knees and covered my face. I woke up again gasping for air and with a sigh of relief.

I think I may have been sent there through a dream to endure just watching hell. and how horrible it was of a place. Just more trips I guess. I don't like to go see it, but it has more of an interpretation of some places. I just wish it would stop for right now, once is really enough.

This is just an update with me and the knowledge of hell. I hope it doesn't get out of hand. I have strange feelings about this. I pray for my own sanity. Have a good day everyone. -Nate

Hide and Seek, Telemiscommunications, First Train Home

hello everyone, It's 8:42 pm as I write this. It's also my 17th blog post. You get one point for knowing the reference in my title C: (Do an internet on them, theyre absolutly wonderful. especially Hide and Seek C:) ~double smiley but anyway i just finished some geometery homework and now I am about to go into topic.

The Question is: Has anyone else noticed that people are slowly declining in the value of friendship they have?

I may have been the only one that noticed, and it may only be in certain areas in the world. It's come to my attention and really has depressed me just at the thought. Why are people putting more and mroe things in front of the relationship you built with your friends? My awesome friend Isaiah, was at a birthday party with his friend Kathrine and her friends. It so happens that her ex who put a leash on her. She invited some friends and her ex got $150 worth of vodka and they all got drunk. The others were only there to get the vodka, they didnt even say happy birthday to kathrine. They just ran off. Isaiah was devasted and I really didn't know what to say because I've never been introduced to those possibilities. Everyone I see here can show their friendship for eachother if something seriously bad happens. Guess that isnt true everywhere. Isaiah couldn't work with himself and he called me. I tried as best I could to have him do the right thing. I don't know whats been happening recently with Kathrine, I just hope good things have happened. But anyway,

I start seeing it with people, how the threats of leaving them or doing something back againts them. It's almost like when your in an actual relationship. Even when fights happen if they do you look past them for the best of happiness and the relationship. People will freak out over the littlest thing. I've even experianced it as I accidentally hit my friend in the face and not even that hard. I felt bad and appoligized and he held that grudge of an accident with him. Until I showed him his wrong doing in trying to get back at me. (He acted as if he was stabbing me in the back, i did not take kindly to that. Seeing that of which I am explaining, but also he says hes christian. A very bad one though.) There's also all the drama that gets created from this as well. Look back at the base of most of which all of it started, and it's over some small or immature thing. I'm pretty sure you can come up with your own example through yourself.

So what to do about all of this? If your a person who values friendship enough to have you and that other person not have a falling out ever, you can easily confess how greatful you are for having the other person. Take the time to just tell the people your closest with how glad you are to have them in your life. Josh actually told me and that absolutly made my night seeing all of the disapointment with friendship people have with another. I told him back that failing the ninth grade was easily worth it if it meant meeting him and geting close to him. Its also worth it to all the others at wihi I met. Skrew my dad and okma, I care for who I want and I pay the price of what it takes to have them. Failing a grade was as said, EASILY worth it.

I havent been explaining much of what I say, but since this all could be relatable I guess im embracing my laziness and putting it all on you :) and I also have been explaining when I have with a whole lot of nothing, or just a long ass version of an example with me. ~Moral of the story~ BE GREATFUL FOR YOUR FRIENDS AND TREAT THEM VERY NICELY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU'D BE AT WITHOUT THEM, PROBABLY NOT A GOOD POSITION AS YOU ARE NOW. yeah, get it. also be greatful for your parents. Batman doesnt have parents anymore.

Goodnight everyone, sleep well. Remain Optimistic! -Nate

Genetics or options?

Hello everyone. 16th blog post it be. I am listening to some Rough Sketch while I'm at my grandfathers. Just chilling drinking some Pepsi.

The Question is:Is being gay or bisexual an option or a genetic trait?

Well, I've seen plenty of the hate against gays, bisexuals, and lesbians. Why do they hate against them? I have the feeling that it's just because they don't feel comfortable around them. If that is true then why do people come up with stuff like "God hates fags" and "homosexuals are possessed by demons."? This especially bothers me for two reasons.

1.) God doesn't hate "fags" God doesn't hate anyone at all. So why would you come up with something as ignorant as that? God hates Frags is something that would make sense because frag grenades are designed to kill people. There's something God would hate. But its more like a disappointment of the human race that we would create something like this.

2.) This Also makes me think they're just saying this to make it seem like that God is on their side. Just like in the Racial Movements back in the 1950's and 60's. They tried to make it so God was on their side. But if you stand for anything hateful your sure as hell not.

There has been studies about homosexuality and Bisexuality that has been done but people stopped funding them. Why? Because nobody wants to know the truth that Being Gay or Bisexual is a GENETIC TRAIT. Yes it's true. There is this spot in the back of the brain that holds what your biologically attracted to. For homosexuals its a bit small than the average heterosexual person. Heterosexuals have it at a mid size. Bisexuals have it a bit bigger. It makes sense because bisexuals since they're attracted to more than one gender, it'll have to be bigger in order to store than information. But of coarse, not much as could be found because the funding was cut because people thought it was "irrelevant" and "unnecessary" or more like from what i can tell, which is the usual reason why people dont want to be proved wrong. people want to be able to hate. Something I brought up in another one of my blogs. People literally hate it when they cant go on about something. So basically they're like "Let us hate gays because i want to . no real reason its just that im in the mood to stress myself out on how the world is." the whole topic is just another one of the things where its "accept the world for what it is."

All of this hate stuff is absurd really. "Love the world for what it is" -Nate Gardner. I might update this if i find anymore about this topic but seeya guys later. This blog topic was suggested by my newest buddy whos freaking awesome Isaiah. Another social and psychology buddy who i get easily get along with. Also have fun on the internet -Nate

On a side note, I showed my buddy Kalvin this post, he said before reading it that "Honestly if your a straight guy, you should be all for gays. They Just double your chances for a girl. For every gay couple there are two available women." <-- Tell yo friends!

Is it always one or the other?

Hello everyone happy 15th blog post.I'm at my friend Daniel's as I talk to my buddy brent over skype. Have a blog post.

The Question is: Does the world have to be science or religion, or can it be both?

You've probably seen it. The Crazy scientific Atheists and the Nothing but God Christians. Why does it have to be a fight over which is which? It seems very illogical when there are these two things that I have brought up.

For the over scientific Atheists, I don't get why they are extremely against religion, but treat science as one and worship every time they hear the word "god." Also there is no actual way to prove god isn't real. So why waste your time driving your own blind rage onto a computer and typing down as your research "god isn't real because I said so" every day. Another thing, if they're so scientific they must know that getting overworked with physically and mentally hurt them. So again they're just driving themselves down.

For the Extremist Christians they refuse all of Gods creations around us that would be considered scientific to try to prove that God is right. Sounds ironic right? They say that everything is one of gods creations but all this that in front of them they refute. They also might say that everything of Gods creation is perfect. Then why do we adapt? If were we perfect we wouldn't need to adapt. The only way I could say this is perfect is the perfection of imperfection. Not just perfection.

For Islam most of the time when the topic of Christianity or Judaism comes up the word "misguided" comes up and it has been part of the lesson to bash on other religions and fear God. I never really heard anything to look forward to form their perspective. Its always worrying about hell and doing as god commands without question, everything is a test. What I don't understand is that why would you not question the things god does? It's the curiousity of how God made the world wouldn't you want to know why and how he made things the way they are? We are his children so wouldn't it be a usual thing to ask the father how things work? I mean back with the scientists they spend time on figuring out how God made the world. Don't tell me that isn't questioning unitentionally.

What I think about the matter is that These can both coexist. The universe is Gods creation so everything that is in the universe is Gods creation. All the science behind everything is an act of God. It would only be an act of God to create something as spectacular as the universe and its properties. People might say well the this is how the world was made (with scientific evedence) and I would say congradulations you figured out how God made the world.

Ever heard of the "holy trinity" of God, the holy spirit, and Jesus? That applies to Christianity but if you take notice on some other things then there is more to it that come in three's. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. You didn't think that God knew that there were these three religions in the world? I figured he didn't tell us because we'd make this whole thing into one religion when from what I can tell, God wants to be worshiped in different ways. Also, getting some other major prophets a taste of the limelite of which they deserve. Christianity stands at the most populated religion (from what I know right now) Giving Jesus the most recognition for being the Messiah. God before that created Judaism to Get plenty of attention towards Mosas. Of coarse he's not going to give knews that Jesus was the Messiah to them because that would destroy Judaism. It just adds to the diversity ment for the world. For Islam he did the same kind of thing only with muhammad. With all of this creating hte perfect trinity of God. I'm pretty sure it's very disapointing to him to have each one of us bash on each other, bicker, and keep whining about who's right. Besides as said, god does not have to tell us things or he can tell us things just to see what we would do. God is God. One last thing, If you say God wouldn't or couldn't do that, you cant prove it because im certain he keeps a lot of stuff from us and don't underestimate the ability to do EVERYTHING. he can go into the future and past and change things and we would never notice. The examples could go on.

This is the first blog that I was able to go on about for the first time in forever. kthxbai -Nate

Past, Present, Future, or Neither?

Hello everyone its 12 40 in the morning and happy 14th blog post as I type this and skype with a near and dear friend of mine. everyones alseep and im glad to have the hosue to myself right now. I also just got a haircut and i am leon as of now. haha

The Question is: What if Time stood still for an entire day before you had to live that day?

Well often of what you will hear is that some people will say is that there is not enough time in the day. So if you have an entire days worth of extra time but no time passes by? what would you do? Also, would you be the only one that has the ability to move around for a day timeless or would everyone, or would only you and a couple people? For One I think I would sleep and have as much fun as the next person would like to. But this topic really got me thinking. How would things change after that?  Would things you changed stay or would it all go back? I'm not sure so let me explain what I think would happen after each of the possiblities I listed.

If time stopped for a days worth of time and every could interact I think its just as what people would please. A extra day in teh universe and the day would be normal. except watches and clocks dont move.

If you were the only one who were to be able to do this. Assuming that you changes still take affect, everyone would be very confused on how so much happened in an instant and of coarse somehow it would be targetted on the person who could do things for a day, and if the person did illegal things would be arrested. If the person didnt do anything illegal then they would be pulled in by scientists or something to be questioned.

If It was you and a couple other people the same would probably happen or some sort of combination.

So as you can see I thought i could get a better answer from myself from this kool topic but i guess this is what i could get after i actually thought about the topic. See you guys later. -Nate

Attention Whores and desperation

Hey everybody and welcome to the intro of my 13th blog post. Its almost time for bed on this school night and I have little time to write this.

The Question is: Why do people go againts their own beliefs just for the accpetance of others.

We've all seen it. You know somebody well enough to know that they dont like a certain idea or topic but when the well respected people say they do like them, they'll say they do. Why do they do it? Well as teenagers the desperation of acceptance is within us all, we don't want to be alone. Its an understandable statement but some people just completely convert themselves and that usually ends up in seperation with their origonal true friends who share the same real interests as them. From the person who wasnt influenced by the popular thought usually is disapointed and depressed that they lost their friend to somebody who unitentionally (or possibly purposly) converted them into someone they're not.

So how do people feel that urge just to go with something thats popular, even though they don't agree with it? Well theres so much diversity that I haven't seen in the world that I can't give much viewpoint, but an estimation on how it works, mainly based on my area. They do it just to feel satisfaction about themselves to do it because it feels right. They tell themselves if they are more like others they are more likley to be accepted. To me that makes me sad because you never really know what that person is like. You just get another way to describe another person of idea of a group. It's repetitive and gets kind of boring to see that style over and over. Another thing could be is that peer pressure could be involved. I foreshadowed it in my last setence/explanation, but this time i mean forcefully pushing traits onto a person. It may be hard to believe for some of you but I bet its a safe bet to say it has happened. For example in the hunger games, peter is forced to search out katniss with districts 1 and 2. A real life example could be a group of people force a guy to unfriend their friends in order to hang out with them.

These are some thoughts I have on the idea that was a request from someone I know. Give me other topics to talk about because I dont think I'll ever come up with one. maybe. Goodnight everyone
-Nate

Love to Love, Hate to Hate.

Happy 12th blog post. Im drinking a can of coka cola and am texting my buddy Brent C: (Skies of Orange, check out his blogs and shit, yo.) I am finally gotten back to this seeing I have something to talk about in forever. I still will take request on what you want my input on.

The question is: Does hate or hating something/someone have a point?

So whats the point of hate? Hmm? to simply think angry thoughts about something/someone? To sit and pout about something meaningless? (though sometimes it does have a meaning, but in today's society, has been misused.) Well I say that Hate is useless. Its simply just putting stress on you when you think about it and as I've probably brought up before, it physically and mental hurts you at the same time. A friend on mine brought up that if the enraged person is "provoked" (in quotes because there is no reason to do this, ever.) to hurt someone, that is another way to have someone get hurt.

See it's just a waste of time and energy. What's it all for anyway? A grudge? If so then I say you have some maturing to do. Who wants to be angry anyway? That's a question that's been overlooked by many. Nobody wants to be angry. (For a further explanation on this, Read "Love to Hate, Hate with a passion, Hate to Love, Love without a passion.)

Now what about love? Well of coarse love as much as you can and truly do. Love gives you good feelings and its very healthy for the body to feel happy. Hence my saying "Love to Love, Hate to Hate" now Hate is the only think you should hate but dont think about it to hard, it'll make your go crazy because that contradicts. another example of how evil destroys itself and honor will prosper.

Music is something that is very misunderstood recently. As a musician I would have a better knowledge on the subject than others. People say crap like "This genre sucks." when clearly it doesnt. How did that genre get anywhere if it "sucked?" My former band teacher showed us the strangest classical that was improvised by the musicians but was playing an actually piece. I forgot what it was called but there are stranger things that break some music rules than the famously known genres. Another reasoning I have for this is say a conversation is how i formed it in my head

Person: Jazz sucks
Me: No it doesnt
Person: yeah it does! It sounds terrible in my head why cant you accept that?!
Me: Well see, I think its good, and you thinks its awful. for one thing, you just dont like the style of the instruments and the mood. but another this is that this makes one of us crazy. and seeing that Jazz has a HUGE crowd in this world as well as all other genres. Its a million versus 1. Your crazy because you drived yourself with useless hate.

The person would usually denied it because people dont like to have their hate proven wrong. Its just that this world is too predictable on how it uses hate. Wheres the love? War - Why can't we be friends? ( a famous song everyone should know.) I've learned how to love the world for what it is, and not hate anyone or anything because none of the things people freak out about are even worth the time. And I am disappointed to see people going on about such basic things.

This is what I have to say about the matter. bless your face, if you sneezed while your were reading this, bless you. (hehe toby reference :D) Have fun going ermegerd seing i finally made another blog post. seeya guys later. -Nate

Nate's quest for the right religion Part 2: Early revelations and early ends.

Hey there and this is my eleventh blog post and I just got back from my pilgrimage which was absolutely incredible, indestructible, and moving. Best week of my life.

The trip helped me realize some things, that I find to be universal when talking about these religions. God knows there are these different religions on these topics, he let it happen, so I think it's that he wants to be worshiped in different forms and not letting anyone know to see what humans would do. Humans wage war, war is sin either way of defending or attacking regardless. There is always a way of a peaceful end that God wants you to find and not fight over absolutely nothing worth fighting over. Don't say "well what if there wasn't a way to end it peacefully and we had to fight." Because 99% of the time there should always be something presented that people miss and even if you did, you could simply wound the enemy and heal them after the fight. That is something God would be proud of you to do as a simple human being. This would also set an example to the world that you are merciful and you follow the footsteps of Jesus and God depending on your religion Muhammad or Moses as well. From the Islam perspective I could see God "testing" us to see if we'll follow his orders but improvise as the creative selves humans are (seeing we are made in his image, God as all human traits.) and go out of our way to make something even better for God. I bet you it makes him cry to see that we just finalize violence as the only answer to anything when it comes to dealing with others. Why must we isolate ourselves from each other, all religions on this topic are correct, but putting one down or taking self pride over another religion and making fun of others that aren't according to their culture of that religion, is sinful. All shall be accepted into heaven by simply just being human, realizing your mistakes, then repenting. This is what God set up, why destroy what is right? These different groups are all right, you just need to believe why you think is right. God will love you anyway and accept you into his kingdom. Destruction should only be used to get rid of parts of a creation that can be improved. Discrimination the destruction of human dignity, shall not be tolerated. Don't worry though, God has no "wrath." He just says so, so he can scare people into following his requests and spreading the word of God. The only harm to come about the word is from the devil certainly. No other would be willing to break the world. His "wrath" is just saying, "I'll let the devil touch your life to .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds if you don't do this." keep in mind that the tiny fraction of a decimal, from the devil that is still a lot. God was with me definitely during the trip and I am Christian. Islam you have nothing to say because he was there as I am a child of his creation. He loves me as he loves you. He doesn't look poorly at me for being Christian at all, he looks upon my growth towards this world to actually spread this message seeing if any shall speak against it. Give me you questions and I'm pretty sure God would answer for his own deeds.

Find your salvation, don't pursue to destroy others. It's all the same in this topic so we can all be friends it's up to who is seriously willing to go that extra time and make friends with the world. The world can be my friend but I don't know if I can be the worlds friend. Prosper. -Nate

Nate's quest for the right Religion: Part 1: What in the world?

Hello and happy 10th blog post. I am at my dads currently studying the many religions that have to do with the common topic of God and the prophets and all that.

The question is: Why are some beliefs for some religions almost completely opposite to those in relation of this one topic, and how did things get so different from each other?

Well you most likely have heard of Christianity. I would think its the largest Religion in the world. (not the fastest growing, for that belongs to Islam.) You also most likely have heard of Judaism (Jewish people in case you don't know of the term Judaism.) And lastly Islam (Muslim people in case you don't know of the term Islam.) Well I am going to explain the first part of what I have gathered. (I have also gathered little information of Jehovah's witness and Mormonism, but those wont be the main topics for this blog. I will blog about them probably Part 2 of this whole thing when I get more information.)

I did research sites that claimed they had proof that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam were all the "True Religion." This next paragraph will see my views on the Islam article I got from "www.beautifulislam.net" I'm not going to talk about parts were it just explains itself and what it is other than Islam means "submission or surrender of one's will to the only true God, known in Arabic as "Allah."

One claim they do make against Judaism and Christianity is that Islam has a name that isn't from the name of someone. Judaism from Judah and Christianity from Jesus. Saying that since those religions have been named after somebody and not God, a reason why they are false. Which I disagree with. I as a Christian believe that Jesus was the son of god (which Islam believes that God has no family and is completely alone and isolated) and one thing about it is that how can Islam judge Jesus when their main focus was on the prophet Muhammad, who has committed sin while Jesus has not. Also The Qur'an was written by Muhammad while he was alone in a cave and I also saw that he apparently also edited 63% or the Qur'an to be able to satisfy his lusts. The bible was written by humans but not as if they were reciting the word of God, but just to write down the actions of the prophet Jesus and anybody else that were involved. When they ever had something in there that was "The word of God," it was stated that Jesus or some other prophet had said so to the people. (Prophet Muhammad was not around at this time.) Lastly (this goes for Judaism as well.) How can Islam say things about Jesus when not only they were mostly following Muhammad. They didn't completely ignore Jesus but wouldn't you rather have gotten Jesus actions from his closest followers?  Who knew all of what he has done? I mean what I think it could be is that since the Jewish and Islam people didn't pay as much attention to Jesus that they missed. They could have not been there to see it all, and without the visual proof that they desire, they stay Jewish or Islam. Forming that community. Another thing is how can Islam claim that Judaism and Christianity is misguided when they came after both of those religions?

I did read an article with the link of http://judaism.about.com/library/3_askrabbi_o/bl_simmons_faith.htm that talked about Judaism being the true religion. The only facts it put down were Islam, for since the Torah is just the old testament, it support Christianity in multiple ways. The "logical" explanation of the national viewing and spreading of the word of God in Judaism does exists in Christianity as well, but Judaism views  the way Christianity is doing it in somehow a different way. From how I see it Jesus spread the word of God the same way Moses did. He  just basically told them about it and did say things like "God as spoken to you" because that would be true unless he had, which is Judaism's argument. That you can't make false remarks about who God did speak to. I like the examples within the document in it as well. It all still supports Christianity though. I am starting believe that Judaism didn't get the full message of Jesus or just took his words and thought otherwise of it (which Jehovah's witness's do have a word back to when Jesus said "I and the Father are one" the Jewish people were about to stone Jesus. Jesus asked why even after I have preformed all these miracles? and the jewish people said not because of that but because you claim to be god when you are just a man. The Jehovah's witness and many Christians would have said Jesus wasn't God, the Jews only thought he was claiming to be God.)

Lastly, I found a site with the link of http://toptenproofs.com/article_christianty.php that basically proves that Christianity is the true religion. One thing that they state is that Jesus did allow himself to be worshipped. To Islam your not supposed to worship the Prophets or Idols but worship God. (I think that may apply to Judaism as well.) Which he was a prophet, but also the messiah and God would only allow himself to worship. Showing that God did come as a human but as the Human being the Son of God, Jesus Christ. In some biblical references that all have to do with Jesus there is in Isaiah 9:6 it is the prophesied that the Messiah that comes to earth in the flesh will be called "Might God, everlasting father." Also in Isaiah 7:14 the coming Messiah is prophesied to be called Emmanuel, which means “God with us”. (It is important to remember that while Scripture is God's Word, it is also historical documentation and accounts of events written down by real people in history) Jesus came along hundreds of years later and declared that he was the Messiah prophesied about, that he was indeed “God with us”. He said in John 6:41 that he “came down from Heaven” and in verse 62 that he would ascend to “where he was before”. He said in John 8:23 that he is “from above”, in John 10:30 “I and the Father are one” and in John 8:58 “Before Abraham was born, I am”, using the same “I AM “ self reference God used with Moses at the burning bush. (From Isaiah 7:14 to the parentheses has been recited from the site, not my writing but proof for Christianity.)

This is Part 1 for Nate's quest for the right Religion. Please in the comments correct me if I'm wrong about something. (if it has to do something about Christianity or two of the three religions, make sure its in both holy scriptures form both of those religions and not just one. ie: in the Qur'an it says about Christianity... with nothing that says in the bible which has more about Jesus than the Qur'an. Please give me evidence from all sides which it is involved.) Thanks for taking the time to read this giant blog. Seeya -Nate

Emotions. What is the significance and the value?

Hello and this is my ninth blog post, which I finally remember that I had a blog lol. But I figured that emotion took a big part on peoples lives and due to my philisphical mind fuck you mind, you might find it interesting if I were to talk about the subject. While listening to Kaskade's remix of Rinzler by Daft Punk. Pretty epic intro and I suggest you listen to it! :D

The Question is: How oftenly are people actually connecting their emotions to a lot of the responses they show, and do they even realize that they're emotions are the ones that affect their lives the most. Not other people.

Well as you may have kind of gotten where I was going to, High school and middle school drama have a hardcore emotional response to everything. People will usually blame each other for a small misfortune that they encountered, when all it was really is their emotions going on full blast for that one moment. Trust me I know the feeling yo, I started pueberty as well. That isn't their fault though, but one could still have the knowlege of the idea though. Adults say stuff like we all go through this kinda stuff. But what they don't say is that it doesn't happen to everyone, which it doesn't. I know some people that went perfectly without all the natural stress. (Or at least from what I could tell, I don't know their very personal lives and don't plan on finding out.) So what would you say? Is it good to let out all that anger at once maybe privatly so no one gets hurt or disturbed, or would you rather the person take some time to figure things out, not a meditation of blind rage, but an actual thought out process or a certain amount of time for the person to gain happiness? I don't know thats up to personal preference. But of coarse are sentence structures go, I made the second option sound a lot like it was how the way I went. Which is true. I spent an anormous amount of time meditating, which at first was blind rage but then the real revelations starting to reveal. Then one year later approx I am the philisophical with the help of God happy man I am today, but of coarse things are not perfect.

I am not going to go back about meditation again. Already talked about it and how it worked for me and all that. But it does show how a lot of thigns connect. Philisophy as well. I forget which greek philosipher but they said that the senses deceive you. Which emotion is a sense as I would say. Don't let them deceive you. Cutting for example, pain is the feeling you get when your hurt, not when you get tickled for example. Pain is a negative affect on your body and being tickled is an affectionate sense. Makes you happy and giggle. Unless you are one of the people who enjoy feeling pain, Self Mortification should never be an option. Do not let your mind bypass pain and deceive you! Besides, it does physical damage any way and you could get an infection and die. Nobody wants that. But don't have your brain bypass everything and set happiness as the ultimate goal. Happiness is pleasing to feel but too much of it will make you go insane. Especially when your happy 24/7 then say you trip and fall. That will flip your mind inside out and you will literally go bat shit insane because this isn't want your used to and what your familiar with. It's all of a sudden strange again. It's all of really how much time you actually figure out yourself and your human nature. What I'm saying may not even apply to you. Thats how diverse Humans are. Just figure out more about yourself and how your can do something for the enviorment around you.

This is what I have to say about the whole matter. Skies of Orange did also talk about human reactions with emotions at one point in one of his blog posts, check it out. Keep wery on if your affecting sombody negativly or at least how they very to be negative. -Nate

Love to Hate, Hate with a passion, Hate to love, Love without a passion

This is my eighth blog post and not only have I gone over to my friend josh's but I am spending the night! Josh ran away from his homie to go talk to Amy though, but anyway I might post another post later meaning to tomorrow C:

The Question is: Why do people use the term, "Hate with a passion" and do they truly understand what they are saying?

I've seen this saying time and time again, and I never really understood it. Hate with a passion. Basically what your saying is "Love to Hate." For example someone could say (I have respect for this genre and enjoy it. No offense should be taken) "I hate Metal with a passion." This is saying "I love to hate Metal music." Your admitting that you take satisfaction in experiencing a feeling that puts stress on your blood and body? If you don't know how anger and stress affects the body, I will give a brief lesson. Basically anger and stress puts pressure on your body, and not a little bit, but a lot. This damages the body and literally no benefit comes from this except increase in strength. But even that is used for harmful, destructive purposes when someone is in rage. So in an arguable statement, there is no benefit of anger. So how could someone enjoy this hurtful feeling? This also could be a synonym situation of cutting. It hurts everything physically and mentally or you, but you take satisfaction in. Things that humans do can be very confusing, but they will never know what is actually harmful for them. There are plenty of worldly examples that I wont give because there are some you could easily think of.

This also can be a debatable way to prove that being evil is wrong and truly not just a perspective and learning experience type of deal. Because if its very parasitic and even you don't benefit. So there is a way to show that treating people poorly hurts everyone involved. So the question brings itself again, why? Why to love to hate to mistreat people? And to try to show people that your "Tough" saying that you hate to love? Things are just turning inside out and backwards and I bet at the time of Adam and Eve things were nearly perfect (I say nearly because of the first sins that happened just because of human nature.) But how have things undone over time? Human nature? Or was there some other force... The philosophic minded people I would suggest turning to to figure things out partially though, you should make interpretations of your own after seeing many people. You cannot simply trust one mind because with the minds of many you can bring up a variety of possibilities that one person would have never thought of. Humans are built to work together but having hate as a passion will bring you nowhere in this world. So please treat people as if you were to treat yourself (depending on how much respect you have for yourself, if you have a low self esteem treat others very nicely. But I cant keep going on all the possibilities so you know what I'm saying.) And besides you never know who and how people are actually affected by aggression. I have been through experiences and naturally have always had a phobia of anger. If anyone if angry at anyone and goes off it will bring me to tears or nearly will because in that case not only one person is being hurt, but two, and maybe many more depending on how many people share this with me.

Please stop hurting people emotionally and especially physically and make bullying kill itself (haha get the reference :D?) Take care of yourselves. -Nate

Creativity, Living with me, Catastrophe.

This is my seventh blog and I am at My homie Josh's house for the billionth time this week to type yet again another blog post at his house.

The Question is: Why are people depriving themselves of their creativity or why are other discouraging people from their creativity and why this has an ultimate damage in the end.

This is been something that I've seen for a long time now, when someone has a great talent but they say they aren't that great at it or they even say that they are horrible at it. I'm always very impressed of what they have created for whether it be art class, band, orchestra, etc, but then they always say something along the lines of "Oh it's horrible don't look at it." Then I always tell them they should do it more oftentimes. I take pride in my work because I am no perfectionist and know that whatever I have accomplished was to the best of my abilities for that situation. So please have self esteem with your work and admire it, grab the pros and the cons, and go on from that, showing the world who truly is you and what your capable of.

Now another thing I have seen as well is that people are telling those low self esteem people and telling them that it "sucks" or is "horrible." This in my mind will not be tolerated and is completely unacceptable, and I'm not talking just about high schoolers or any mean people in your school, but Adults as well. I've had it where my parents say that they "support" me with my music but they sure as hell didn't act like it. This made me go bat shit insane for the longest time. I sadly don't have nearly as many opportunities to get around to my electronic producing. The least I can do is mess around with my guitar whether it be for Never Again or music that will go under my own name. It's one thing that I wish I could resolve, so I wish for a computer and some recording equipment. That would make my month. But back to the main idea though, there are going to be plenty of people that want to push you down but when you hold this skill of non violence (hopefully) and have this amazing talent, you will have a great life ahead of you. Something worth value, something worth striving for. Follow your dreams.

The results of people constantly being pushed down from all this has included the following. Suicide, self mortification, lost in self motivation, suicidal thoughts, and many other depression related symptoms. For what purpose does it hold within people that they just want to put these awful and scary actions on people? I see it just for satisfaction because that will usually grant them social popularity if they make a joke about it which is usually the most common way. The feel alone so if your someone like me don't fall into that trap and  see through they're eyes to see that they are actually more alone that you are. You have plenty of real friends around you I'm certain that will help you with your life if needed. Everyday shall be non like its last and non like its future. Improvise.

Shhh, no more tears, just dreams. Think about that, what does it mean to you? put this blog into some thought. -Nate

Meditation, frustration, recreation.

This is my sixth blog post and the usual one thats late at night.

The Question is: How does Meditation help with frustration, and how can you use your thoughts for recreation?

Well meditation as many should know eases the mind, and has worked for me greatly. I love meditation and that is exactly the thing that got me out of my depression. I spent a year, alone, meditating daily and figuring things out. Philosophy is usually what is the outcome of your practices. So there is a lot you can overcome with meditation.

The frustration that people have is something that will tense up the body, it's not good to be frustrated all the time. It physically does damage to the body. It puts pressure onto your blood cells and cramping them together and that makes it very uncomfortable and very hard to work with. Meditation is not the only way of releaving stress, but a very effective and easy way to releave one of their stress. You should when meditating focus on what is causing you the most u\disfortune, and figure out why and how it's happening. This way you will not only be able to figure out the how and the why, but then way to fix it and a stress releaved mind to work with. If you've ever noticed,when people are mad, people don't want to talk to that person, making this less efficient. When you have a clear mind even with horrible issues you will have a tremendous increase of effeciency with your life and however you organize it. This is a great way to start on your road to not only happiness and a better optomistic personality, but finding a uniqueness within you that nobody knew about and at that point could show off to the world.

The recreation is up to you. However your culture and social structures are and how they work is just how you will be able to rebuild. After you have a plan and things that have proved working (not just you think will work) take action, don't be afraid to pull of a stunt or something that you would think we benefit everbody and not just be parasitic about it and it's not just about some drama that you are apart of and you want vengence. You may be saying "oh meditation is boring/lame" or "I don't have the balls to actually take action into doing the thing I would like to do for the cause." Well if your person one then don't meditate, get research and survey peoples ideals on certain topics and grab your information from there. And if you don't have the capability of taking action then just have someone else do it that you can 100%+ trust on for getting that kind of job (which you have to let them know that it is a very serious job that you are assigning.) This will hopefully form a better person out of you.

Make sure that you are doing the right thing, and that when your meditating its not just rageful incesnce because then the right choice is too vague in your mind or unseen at that state. So try your best anyone if this helped -Nate

Skies of Black! er... wait... that can't be right...

This is My Fifth Blog and I am Currently eating Gummy frogs and drinking coke as I type this (oh mah gosh I love coka cola) O.o

The Question is: Why do people view people who wear black, as bad or evil? (Made the blog a little anonymous from the title :3)

As you can tell I use the word Black alot in my blog, deal with it. The thing is, I can't break down how people come up with these stereotypes. Some actually have a little tiny but of truth behind them, but in the ways people use the one about how people wear black are usually depressed? Not really. People who wear black aren't really depressed. There are the people who dress in black and be all poserific and say crap like "OMG YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''(" And as most of us should know all of that is bullSHIT. So why are people like me discriminated for it if there is the obvious fact of that? Just for the laugh of it? I'm never sure about anything I talk about on this blog, so I'm not sure.

So anyway, what is the real deal with the color black anyway? I can only tell you about what the problem is slightly from one point of view, the extremely religious people's point of view. They believe that anything dark/ scary looking is considered to be from hell. The people who wear black are looked at as parts of the legions of hell. And anything else in relation with that group of people. (ie: Metal and Deathcore music, certain forms of poetry, etc...) But what proof does the bible give to support that this lifestyle that I share with the misunderstood is a bad lifestyle? None at all! It's plain rediculous on how in the world we could be such a threat to them -.-'

It also gets to me how my grandparents look at black as "depressing" or especially "Unattractive." They're really just falling into the stereotypes that the "genious" america has put onto it. I've told them that I've wanted to dye my hair black before (I might not now in order to have the possibility of getting Kallie back) and I feel liek they're not completely accepting me for who I am because I take on this unique fasion that basically nobody else in my family partakes in. So I can't see why it's such a bad thing. They're old anyway and they say that they know this and they won't understand but of coarse they don't act like they know.

This is really all I have to say about it, there may be some missing things about it. Please in the comments tell me about your personality oppression if you want. seeya later -Nate

Hell. And Its powerful effect

This is my 4th blog post. And yet another thing thats been on my mind. More religious though.

The Question is: What actually is Hell, If there is one?

I believe there is a Hell, But thats just because of my beleifs. I'm letting you know now that this is not to try to convert any of you or to be to any offense.

I'm in a youth group in St. Andrews Episcopal Church in Ann Arbor. And Hell has been on my mind constantly, and it is very scary when you are a type of christian. I wonder how much the devil has editted my life since then. I've always wondered what Hell was anyway. and One day. (And these are the types of events that I truely beleive there is a god. My questions are answered exactly.) The next day I went to church and the lesson is on Hell. I instantaniously become interested. They brought up some very interesting thing. For example, (this definantly eased most of my spiritual pain, but this is still going on in my mind) they said "What if Hell is not a place where theres demons ripping the limbs off of you are being tortured. But it's simply just a place where your without god." That gave me so much to think about for a long time. If that is true does that mean that Hell has some beautiful plains and skies and looks like earth only without all of the troubles of Earth? That almost made me want to go to hell, I felt ashamed of the thought when I remember that if your able to be with God wouldn't that be a lot better? I mean you would have to find your stuff in Hell even if it wasn't the tortuous place its claimed to be. With god you can simply ask for it because you've earned it. It'd also be a lot more fun and relaxing and everything would be better. But you always have to pay attention and make sure your don't sin. But If your not christian then you don't have to worry about this stuff. So, good for you.

Now Hell has been on my mind for a long time as stated, and its really been a pain. The constant worrying about it and the anti christ symbols flying through my head, and even temptations throughout my life that seem so beneficial. The blood and it just drives me crazy. God has i would like to believe made a lot of it go away recently and all that but if theres stuff like this, Wouldn't there be a devil and it wouldnt be a second lonlier earth? Hell is a very scary and touchy subject, and starting this early in my life with the topic was probably a bad idea. So as I fight the devil (or a demon or whatever) I go along with my life and I try to find a way to get around this. But to all of you non religious people this is all bullshit, but this blog thingie I made was for stuff on my mind so deal with it.

I've had dreams of going to hell. The first one was I was crossing a bridge that was white. there was a huge big entrance with the devil sitting on a chair lounging with the hellish smile while around each side of the wall he was in front of I could see hell and I looked to see hell got scared and said "I'm not ready yet." The devil replied "Ok be generous" as his smile grew. I replied "you too" then afterwards realizing that might have been a mistake seeing that he could be generous enough to save a spot in hell for me.

The second dream I have was I was in front of my friends Ezra and Griff. I killed myself with rope and I woke up in a hall wall with a floating goreing ball with one eye and a mouth and tenticles coming off the side. I ask "Am I in hell?" It replies "Hmm? Oh yeah your in Limbo." So I think little of it. I walk down the hallway to find a door and I go through the door seeing a road a massive open area where the sky and the ground were the same. It was red and has spots of purple fade in and out. There was a crumbling building to the right on teh side of the only road. I decide to walk that way. I see a group of 3 teens talking about something that I couldn't hear. I look forward again and someone in the distance starts running at me yelling my name. I didn't know this person in real life but I knew this person in my dream. I said "what" after they got to me and they asked "What are you doing here?" and I replied "I dunno..." as I look to the ground. They replied "Alright lets go" and we countinue down the road to nowhere.

This is was I have to say about it, tell me what you think like always. Dont fuck up. -Nate

Suicidal dreams, thoughts, wants, and haunts

This is my third blog and I'm here to talk about suicidal issues.

The Question is: Why are some of my friends having the desire to commit suicide and some of my friends, friends wanting to commit suicide?

I really have no idea why but I have been surrounded by depression for several years now. I did have it for 2 years or something but I've become a happy person. Or was anyway. Depression has come to strike me in the back again. Don't worry I still have all my morals about not committing suicide and not cutting and everything. But its origin is not just what I went on in my second blog, "Nervousness," but from the constant thoughts about this depression stuff. I know its needed  as an emotion for certain situations and responses that are appropriate for an unfortunate event. Too much of it of coarse is bad and even happiness is the same way as well. Too much of anything is bad. So I find myself a good medium. I know there can be ridiculous counslers but there are also some amazing counslers as well. Like I've had mine for two years and we get along so well and he's just awesome. So I think that the people who really need the help should get it (Like my friend Josh for example) he's been great and I think that to all people with depression should look at me and josh as an example. I was not put on meds though I made a goal that I could find happiness as a purity and not masked by meds. A real true expression of happiness, which I did achieve. Josh's was so bad that he has to be put on the meds or else he'll try to commit suicide immediately... which is definitely a horrifying thought and image :'C Everything should work out in the end.

And I was looking at a conversation between josh and amy (yes I did josh deal with it) and I worry for amy. That may sound creepy to you, but I view everyone as a friend of mine and I look out for friends. I even treat god informally. Many religious people would think thats insane but why? You don't treat you father very formally (Unless you were raised like that of coarse.) You can have a informal conversation with God if you wanted to. But Josh, when you read this, keep her alive. I'd be doing her and us a favor. She seems like a kool person as well that I would like to talk to at some point in this life...

  Another this is to know, not make yourself believe, but KNOW that you are never alone. Unless of coarse you make yourself that way. I have seen it too many times that people isolate themselves then say everyones avoiding them. So accept the company because not everyone is a bad person. Be optimistic! And don't be afraid to show yourself. I wear black a lot (as stated in my second blog) and take no shame in who I am. I am self and who ever were to challenge me I would say "I am Self!."

With these kind of tips of advice to get people started I believe we can save lives and start a global life saving revolution to over through the bullshit leaders we have today and start a new happier culture were everything is fair and the world may be run by our more perfect ideas. God bless us all and help us along the way. Fuck close minded people they will learn. Purge your depression, but not forcefully, getting rid of things always takes your time. But stand strong. Everyone and Anyone is here for you.

Take care of yourselves -Nate

Nervousness

Hello and This is my second blog and this one is about how im nervous on somethings and would like your opinions.

One thing that I am nervous about is being seen by My principal and in some cases my former world studies teacher, Mr. Wynn. My principal Mr. Okma I already know hates me for who I am, and I am being kicked out of his school, Wihi. So that means I have to meet with him again and I can not emotionally speak with him. Not because I am ashamed of my grades, but I feel so pushed at and attacked by him and I don't get defensive, but confused and at a lost of words. I forget the whole ability and part of the conversation just focusing on his anger. Then I just fall into tears and that I take shame of facing my Principal and crying. I think it's a safe bet that he thinks that I cry in front of him about my grades. I don't think he cares though, he gets done of whatever is his and he leaves his students futures to them, which I view as a good thing partially because I make my life and he shouldn't be concerned about it, but he will still call you down and yell at you and get frustrated for you not being able to catch up. So this is one thing that I am always nervous about, walking through the schools fearing the sight of my principal.

Another thing that I am nervous about is that some of my family members are also raging for the fact that I can't keep up with the IB's standards. My dad is been recently more tolerable, but my step mom I have noticed that she has taken a very agressive living style when communicating with me, for the same reasons as stated above. My dad and step mom do the hardest work just to say so and like to think that doing all that will make them idols. I think other wise becaues it's time that they've learned that nobody cares that you've actually done more work for no reason. Most people will probably just be like "You did more work? HAHA, way to waste your time and effort when you could've gotten the same thing with less work." But seeing that they are my parents I have no authority or rights of any kind of speach. I don't feel as if I get enough rights to actually state my case, this limits me and makes me just want to run away from my friends house and live there to the people that actually know what I'm talking about.

So this is what I have to say, take a gander at your thoughts and tell me what you think. -Nate

Bio of myself.

So this is my first blog post on my blog "Black Sunburst."  I'm going to start with a biography of myself and go into detail for each subject I go into.

My name is Nate Gardner and one of my major occupations with my life is that I absolutely love to create music. I started with the guitar when I was 10 and made one song that somehow I can still remember perfectly at age 14 (about to be 15.) I named it "Emotion." Later in life about a year later I started to get into electronic music. I was a fan of electronic music ever since I heard Benny Benassi's "Satisfaction." I started out just slapping some samples together then boom done in this program called "Mixcraft." Its good for beginners but if you wanna go somewhere with your music I recommend taking a great step up to "Fl studio" if you have a pc or "Logic" if you have a mac. They are both amazing programs and I've used both. My stage name for my electronic music by myself is "Brounyez" pronounced as the popular chocolate treat "Brownies" haha, it was pretty funny. I could go into the Bio of Brounyez but that would be too much and its mainly for just me.

Another group of music that I've been into waaayyyyyy before electronic music is hard rock/metal/deathcore/any other band like genres. Back when I was 7 and heard Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life" and I fell in love with it. That was the song and the band that set my musical taste for the harder styles (haha Scope Dj reference) I still like artists like "Tegan and Sara" and "Ellie Goulding" though. I actually am in three different groups for that kinda music. I'm making music as myself (for stuff like tegan and sara and ellie goulding), Bleached Black (which we have to change the name and that is one of my metal bands), and Never Again (which is my second metal band). I am going to do some production for the projects after we record things because it will have some electronic influence and breakdowns with be glitch breakdowns and be all chopped up and awesome :3. I'm getting things together with recording equipment and band members for Never Again. I have made lyrics for two songs with the names of "Like Son Like Father" and "Unharmed." Check them out when I give the update that they're on youtube on "OfficialNeverAgain."

For other topics I do like to do as much good visual art as possible. I'm trying to get into it and be good at it but theres progress that always has to be made. I'm going to try to get help from my artsie friends. So I might when I start to get good put stuff on deviantart? sounds good.

For some back story is that I have been living in Michigan for most of my life and have recently trying to make the best of things for me right now because I have been put into a situation with my school and some of my family members. So If you have any questions ask me and i will answer them if you want some more information on me because i cant really think of anything of my personality :P but you can get some of it just from how i am setting this up and how I'm talking about things. Please don't judge a book by a cover we can be friends if i already don't know you haha. -Nate